Livin’ the Dream

summer sunshine - liberonetwork.com

It hasn’t been on purpose, but I realize I have been conspicuously absent from this blog for most of the summer.  Rather than finding myself hunched over my computer, I’ve been out and about savoring every bit of this glorious season’s sunshine and warmth and, well, just participating in life.  It has been a total gift to have had the opportunity to preach occasionally and, beginning this October, I will have a somewhat steady gig with a congregation currently in a pastoral vacancy.  I have been finding myself re-discovering who I am and what gives me joy.  That may sound elementary, but to this recovering alcoholic, reclaiming life has been no easy task.  I wasted a great deal of time feeling sorry for myself.  I was sure I had ruined everything and there was absolutely nothing to look forward to our hope for.  Yes, there was a time I believed I could never have fun or enjoy myself, let alone be ‘happy’ without alcohol.  Not true!  I haven’t had a drink in nearly a year (I will mark one year of sobriety this Friday), and, while I have no idea what my future holds, I am finding myself pretty jacked up about it!

I don’t think about a drink anymore.  Really.  The AA folk used to tell me this day would come and I didn’t believe them.  But it really has.  I’ve gone places and done all sorts of things I never thought I would go to or do again—at least not without booze—and have enjoyed myself!  Seltzer with lemon has become my drink of choice (I prefer the sodium free when I’m stocking my fridge at home, but any seltzer will do, even club soda if need be, just please squeeze a wedge in it!).  I’ve been to concerts and clubs and birthdays and funerals and celebrations of all sorts—and have come through unscathed.  I think it is because I am so damn happy; I don’t want to risk this sense of well-being and deep-seated joy ever again.  NEVER.  I never want to slip back into the abyss that was my life prior to getting sober.  I shudder at the thought of all the years I wasted.  Never again.  Life is too good, its gifts too precious, to risk missing even another moment of it.

At the risk of sounding like one of those AA folk (and yes, I still go to meetings), I want to reassure anyone who’s a few hours or weeks or days into sobriety that it absolutely will get easier and so, so much better!  I thought my experience was as bad as it could get—rehab, job loss, compromised health, but I could have died.  I know that now.  If I could have gotten away with drinking for another month or year, I could have very easily killed myself; if not by alcohol consumption directly, then by a car accident (thank God I never killed anyone!) or some other reckless behavior.  Looking at things from this perspective, I am one incredibly lucky woman: lucky to be alive and sober and able to sit by the pool and look up at the night sky and experience joy and thank God over and over and over again!  No matter that I considered them lies, the promises are coming true in my life.  Slowly, but surely, I am reemerging as someone more true to herself than I had ever imagined possible.

Hang in there, peeps.  From the one year mark, and for as far as I can see, life is looking oh, so good!

Photo Credit: Bing Images/liberonetwork.com
Advertisements

27 thoughts on “Livin’ the Dream

  1. I have followed you from the outset and am so very pleased that you’re experiencing such joy and contentment. I haven’t written in my blog for a while as unfortunately I fell backwards after 7 months and can’t seem to claw my way back to a place where I can begin again. I know I will one day – Posts like yours are inspiring. I just need to find the strength to do it again. God bless you and all the best in all that you do. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s so great to hear not just that you’re approaching your anniversary, but that you’re out there living life to the fullest! Why on earth would you WANT to be on here when you have so many wonderful things to do. God is good! You have caused him to be praised this day! Congratulations, girlfriend! {{{PP}}}

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Ah jeez. You just can’t resist, can you? People who are critical of Q are morons? Criticism is the beating heart of pro sports. Without it, &#10I2;2t s not whether you win or lose it’s how you play the game”, would be standard post game press conference soundbites. If you think fans shouldn’t be critical of their team then you should not be a blogger of a team.

        Like

  3. I LOVED THIS! Congratulations! Rejoicing right along with you, great post! Loved what you said about being happy. Loved the space you’re in and that you took a moment to share that joy! Many blessings…

    e

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Good Job! I was starting to wonder that I hadn’t “seen” you much this summer and then school started Monday and I haven’t been on much myself. It is so good to hear you are doing well! It’s funny, not only do I no longer think about drinking or getting high, I actually managed to forget that today is 13 months! You capture the freedom and joy of sobriety so well. Know what’s better than an ordinary old cucumber? A really zesty, crunchy pickle! (Not those bland soft ones still in the brine 😉 ) ((hugs)) and a double high-five!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hello! I have bookmarked your blog and was just checking in. I am also a pastor who struggles with the drink. I function on the outside but the voice inside is ugly. I am on day 2 of another try of sobriety. Wondering how you are doing and hoping all is well.

    Like

  6. I simply want to tell you that I am all new to blogging and really loved yo7r182#u;&e blog site. Almost certainly I’m want to bookmark your blog . You surely come with incredible posts. Regards for sharing with us your website page.

    Like

  7. hahaha! This is sooo cute! I was just going through some old photos of me when I was obesssed! I had the whole get-up from cowgirl boots to wrangler jeans – all before the age of 10. Guess it's obvious I have an inner cowgirl too even if I played it out as a child.

    Like

  8. Les règlements d’urbanisme harmonisés ont été adopté par le conseil de ville et les conseils d’arrondissement.Maintenant seul un avis de non-conformité au PDAD émanant du MAMR ou de la Commission municipale du Québec pourrait stopper le processus… Ce qui a très peu de chances de se produire. L’entrée en vigueur est prévue pour juin.La Ville de Québec a désormais une référence en ce qui a trait aux efforts afin d’améliorer la qualité de vie urbaine. Chapeau!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s